A Personal Mission and Vision: Greater Expectations
Jennifer “Birdie” Shawker, Communications and Activities Coordinator
The 70’s were such an interesting time to grow up in. I remember colorful clothes and empowering messages for girls. We could have it all. I recall seeing images in my mother’s magazines of women who worked and had children and still found time to dote on their husbands. I heard messages of empowerment from the record player: “Free to be You and Me” was one I played over and over again soaking in its message that I did not have to accept a typical role of a woman in life. My mother’s favorite record to play was an album by Helen Ready. She played it so much, some of the lyrics from my favorite song I know to this day without looking up.
I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back and pretend
‘Cause I’ve heard it all before
And I’ve been down there on the floor
No one’s ever going to keep me down again
Whoa, yes, I am wise
But its wisdom born of pain
Yes, I’ve paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman
What marvelous messages to grow up with, yes? I’m profoundly grateful to my parents. In my child’s mind, a picture of an expectation was set up. I would work full time and have a successful career, I would have a pristine home, have well-adjusted and good looking children, and dote on my husband. All this is possible, naturally, and is something I’m sure some women accomplish and feel absolutely fulfilled by.
When Frank and I married it sure looked like it would pan out that way to me. We both worked full time. We found a town between Fort Hood where he was stationed and Austin, where I worked. So I got to keep the job I loved and was advancing in quickly. One day, when my husband was away on a temporary duty assignment, an elderly neighbor brought me cornbread and beans so I would not have to cook supper while he was away that night. Not having children, I did not understand this gesture but thanked her. “You’ll learn soon enough,” she said, “military wives serve our country too.”
Soon enough, I did. I found my dream of working full time, having a successful career, and taking care of a family was nearly impossible for me. Especially in the years after 9/11. At best, I worked part-time or depending on Frank’s ever-changing assignments, just stayed home. So many different jobs I held, so many different skills I learned, from nursing to daycare, and even agriculture. But I’d found Unity, and had learned if I put my mind and heart to it, I could do just about anything. And I had those lyrics to lean into.
If I have to I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman
I did have to deal with some disappointment and a feeling that I was not living up to my full potential. The picture-perfect life of my childhood visions was something that was not exactly playing out. And my resume? It was a source of embarrassment for me with its crazy hodgepodge of jobs that changed every couple of years.
I worked through it with my husband. He pointed out something to me. As a family, we were doing two important things – by being flexible I was supporting him in protecting our country, and the big goal for the two of us? Raising a happy and well-adjusted child. We never had an official “mission statement”, but we were on two missions. This was a game changer for me. Eventually, I stopped feeling the disappointment from not reaching the rather unrealistic expectations in my head. I felt fulfilled with every transition we experienced. I relished the opportunities each new job brought. I was on a mission.
Fast forward a few years. We completed one goal; Frank had retired. We were nearing completion of the second – our son was in high school and well-adjusted. He dazzled us with his good grades, his maturity, his quirky humor, and independent spirit.
So when someone suggested I look into seeking credentialing in Unity, I put a lot of thought and research into it. My unofficial “mission” was about to be complete. In prayer, I discerned this was a wise thing to do.
And then another “unofficial” mission came about when my mother needed caregiving. Now knowing that the vital mission for me was to care for family, I supported her and still took prerequisite classes. They kept me uplifted in difficult times as she neared her transition. Wise, indeed.
After she passed, I found the time was drawing near where I would actually apply for the program. I would need to write an essay as to why I was seeking credentialing. Just discerning it was wise was nice but would not cut the mustard.
Why was I passionate about this? I was confused. I’d had other family-based “unofficial” missions for a long time, and that was all. I couldn’t tell you what my mission was. And honestly, I was anxious – dealing with the disappointment from a very specific expectation had been difficult. I did not want to make pictures in my head again of what my life would look like. There had to be another way.
Then in one of my classes, an instructor had mentioned a question to ask ourselves when making a decision:
Is this in alignment with my personal core values?
Core values? That was something I knew our CommUNITY to have. I’d not given much thought about discerning my own.
So that is exactly what I did. I researched Steven Covey’s work. Through a personal process of discernment, I came up with a personal mission, vision, and core values. The beauty of it was, I discovered in doing so, I was really identifying a Divine Idea to uphold.
There was no need for a specific picture of a potentially unobtainable goal should my circumstances change. It also bridged the myriad things I found I loved to do in the past and focused them. When I’m uncertain what to do about certain situations, decisions have become a no-brainer. As Rev. Ron has told us in his workshops, my mission, vision, and core values are my “marching orders.” I simply ask myself if what I’m considering is in alignment with them.
This is why I’m so excited about the upcoming workshop where we will look at our mission, vision, and core values. My personal ones have been a prized treasure for me; I have clarity and focus. They push me into and through my discomfort zone and, on the other side, are profound insights and spiritual growth. I can’t wait for us to experience this as a CommUNITY.
And, just in case you are curious, here are my personal “marching orders.”
Mission: Planting seeds of spiritual growth.
Vision: A world growing in Understanding.
Core Values: Acceptance, Appreciation, Order, Service, and Trustworthiness.
Join us for the Mission and Vison workshop coming soon. Click here for more information and to register.
