The Art of Becoming

Brother David Steindl-Rast, a Benedictine monk, is quoted as having said, “May we let go, and grow bright as stars in a clear, frosty night, the more we are stripped of what we thought we could not do without.” Sometimes this is clear to us - we know we can do without this thing or that thought, or that belief… and sometimes it’s not so clear. We think that this belief or thing or thought is indispensable, that we might lose some essential part of ourselves if we were to release it.

Waking up spiritually is about coming to know the truth of ourselves, which for most, if not all of us means also coming to see that which is not true, but that we are often very attached to.

This reminds me of that scene from the movie “The Jerk,” where Steve Martin is leaving his house declaring that he doesn’t need anything… but then as he passes certain objects in his house, he decides that there really are some things that he thinks or believes he can’t do without: “this ashtray, this paddle ball game, this remote control, these matches, this lamp, this chair…”

And of course, he didn’t really need any of the things he picked up and dragged behind him out the door, but his character was certainly attached to the ideas or beliefs that the things represented.

In other words, those things he grabbed were representative of beliefs that he thinks he needs, that those things make him who he thinks he is or who he thinks he should be.

I believe that this quote by Brother David is talking about beliefs. What do we believe that we think we cannot do without? What treasure of the ego keeps us from growing “bright as stars in a clear frosty night?”

A belief that we think will keep us emotionally safe? A belief that we need to be right… all the time? A belief that keeps us feeling superior? A belief that has convinced we have to over do or over compensate? How about a belief that says we need to put ourselves last?

I believe that the quote is referring to letting go of the death hold grip we have on our cherished beliefs. And those beliefs can be attached to anything - events, people, other beliefs or things.

It seems to me that there is a paring away that needs to happen, and this paring away is really of the beliefs - of any beliefs - that would have us remain rooted in any sense of separateness.

I like to think of the letting go as what happens when we simply open our hand. It takes energy to grip tightly to anything - a belief, a way of thinking, a thought. I believe this is the “letting go” that the quote is referring to: it is the letting go of our grip, for once we let go, we’re no longer holding onto it. That is the letting go- we stop gripping. We stop holding it in place.

And when we let go of our tight grip on those beliefs, we reveal the beauty, the love, the wholeness, the wisdom that we are.

I think many of us carry a false belief: we think we can effect change without changing ourselves. We don’t want to release what we believe because we believe that we are right. How many of us are trapped in the fallacy of thinking that we are right and they are wrong?

And we think that from this place we can affect change outside of ourselves.

But the truth is, is that if we were already vibrating at the level of the life of our dreams, we would already be different.

If I want peace in my life and I don’t have it, I can’t make peace happen from my non-peaceful place. I have to be peace, or vibrate at peace for it to demonstrate in my world of affairs. We have to let go of what is not peace before we can reveal that peace that is already within us, currently obscured up by all that is unlike peace.

Jean Houston writes, “We are in a time of transition. Things are breaking down – standard-brand governments, politics, economics, religions, relationships. It’s the sunset effect – the sun gets brighter and blazes out before it goes down.

People are discovering the need, the yearning, to become what we can be. We are on the verge of so much more.”

There’s a process I love for finding and releasing these beliefs that I have a grip on that keep me from shining more brightly. First I give myself permission to see them. I even go looking for them. I go hunting for beliefs that I have a tight grip on that keep me trapped in less than or in thinking I can be separate.

This involves being present, being brave, paying attention to my thoughts and being willing to see what is truly going on within me.

Then once I see it, I soften to it. I accept that it’s there and get brave and look it in the face. I allow myself to be present with it.  Once I’ve softened to it, accepted it, been present with it, I figuratively open my hand. I release my grip on it. The release is the release of my grip.

The energy that I had twisted around that belief is now available for other things. And interestingly enough, in my own experience, when I do this, that belief simply melted away.

When we peel away all of the beliefs that keep us separate, what we reveal is more of the pure and simple truth of who we are, which doesn’t take many words at all. In fact, just two: I AM.

“May we let go, and grow bright as stars in a clear, frosty night, the more we are stripped of what we thought we could not do without.”